..::.. 2 9 0 ...::..

记得要感谢自己。就算四周围的人不再欣赏你，请你欣赏你自己。
在黑暗，低沉的时候，是自己叫醒自己！在我从来都没有信心的那一刻，是自己给自己胆勇敢踏出第一步，就算丢了面子又怎样？！在我不肯在任何人当面用同一种语言来沟通，如今，自己让自己鼓起最后的勇气做出了第一步。朋友们都给予我最大的鼓励，但是回到家顿时变得好软弱，慢慢的，惯了，试卷上的分数就只不过是一个号码，不代表什么，一次又一次那样地告诉自己，我能撑多久？在学院踏出的第一步成了那一份的光彩，我永远记得，永远烙印在我心中。这次的成绩我很满意！ 虽然只有那两科，但这两科是我在痛苦的时段熬出来的。我想在这里告诉你，我都能了，你为何不能？！ 高中时期的时候，谁能比我更黑暗？谁能比我更自卑？谁能比我更伤？ 没有一个人生下来就天生丽质，没有一个人生下来就会成功，是靠那一份努力的热诚，那份就算失败了还在努力的心。坚持，我默认我很坚强！有谁知道坚强的那一刻，打滚了多久？流了多少的泪？躲在角落有几久？感情受到挫折的时候，我逞强到最后我克服。 那一时间，坏事连连接着去，整天都做错事情，糟糕到我连朋友都忘记载！感叹。最后，除了家人，朋友或是你的另一半，记得要感谢自己，爱惜自己，不要做出任何伤害自己的事情！

 

..::.. 2 8 9 ..::..

End of Sem 3.

Great, One year passed, am entering Year 2 for Diploma courses this coming May. 

I promised to look forward on every year, every month, 

every week, every hours, every minutes and seconds as well.

Hopefully lah :X

load of things happen within that long duration. 

yup, it's over. its actually over between us. 

:) 

Girls like to shop even thou window shopping. 

Isn't bout spending money all the way, but it's actually a behavior .

Feel so great when bought something that I wanted or just so surprising when you got something else unexpectedly.

hee .

well , there's no more part time job for me starting from next sem.

Felt so sorry to all my beloved students, but maybe this is the best choice neither.

But somehow, i might getting over too stress starting from next sem at the same time spm just around the corner. So , work hard yea !

I love you guys a lot. 

..:;.. 2 8 8 ...::..

没有人知道，当一个人告诉自己“我很坚强”的时候，前一秒的她受了多少的委屈，眼泪在眼眶里打转了几久，心里到好想呐喊的程度。但这一切只能自己默默地承受，不想被任何人看到自己脆弱的那一面。在她告诉自己我坚强的时候，其实已经脆弱了，不知道已经告诉自己要坚强多少次了。

..::.. 2 8 7 ..::..

Feeling kinda hard to balance back my mood right now. what the hell happening to me ? so wanna bang the wall and end my life now. I just felt the stress. Am stress out with another thinggy but not college stuff. Somehow, just dont know why i couldnt choose to give up that way instead of fearing for those stress and emotional stuff. I always look for a better tomorrow but it seems like very hard to achieve. I blame myself. Im the one not playing my role well or they just not attaching their importance to me. I WANT TO BREATH. get a life, LING XIN YAN! wake up wake up! what is the real happiness meant to you? I couldnt figure it out. Do the things YOU like and dont get influence by others. Be more unrestrained that people always ask you to do ! In fact, those motivation quotes were just a joke ! how many times i told myself just to forget it and let it passed  but it seems like not. You just dont know how i feel when i received the message and it swung my mood as well. what the heck. Be the real me, and WHO AM I ?that's the question. Im tired and very very very exhausted. I just thought everything will better after a relaxing mind by eating or bathing. AND NOW, im NOT. Can i get back the something that worth to what I contribute for quite a time please. FED UP.  The only way i can do right now is sleeping i guess. I knew thats kind of escaping but I got no choice what to do. Forgive me. 

Sorry to say that I always make myself try to forget eveything that I really dont wanna think of it. 

I knew  it was kind of escaping,  but what to do?

Was trying so hard to face it, to face the problem but nonetheless failed.

Forgive me being so TIMID. wth ...

  

..::.. 2 8 5 ..::..

Am going to end my first semester and the very last exam at 4.30pm later. :)

Can't wait for it ! 

Stay tuned. Blog will be updated very soon. 

Cheers. 

Good luck for group E members and so DQS1. 

...::.. 2 8 4 ...::..

Is JULY.

Time flies.

In summary as well, 

The most unforgettable Father's day i had and They had too.

I was admitted to hospital and an operation was done during that night.

Imma already suffering from the fever and gastric CRAMP for 6 days which brought about 1 week plus.

That was horrible.

Went to clinic for three time.

And finally,doctor asked me to have a check up in hospital.

I got appendicitis.

Thanks to all my friends, classmates and colleague.

I appreaciate the wishes a lot.

Yea, seriously. I mad with the assigments, sketches drawing and the mid-term examination.

Almost nil about it.

Building construction's result was not satisfied. I failed myself thou it pass.

I told myself everything consider fine IF PASS since I studied the subject last minute.

And how come EMO came to me ?

agreed with what Mun Yee said, everyone will compare their results.

Can I stop comparing with others?

I used to smile, used to forget everything and continue to work hard during SPM life.

But now, I feeling wanna die !

There's only 25 objectives question and some of it was just answering either true or false.

The more easier the questions, the more stressful I felt.

THERES ONLY 25 OBJECTIVES QUESTION AND I NEVER SLEPT FOR 2 DAYS.

WHAT FOR ...?

Feeling so wanna give up for this subject.

And yea, I knew that this is only the beginning,

people around keep telling me that, QS quite hard to study, the most difficult subject to study, School of Technology is difficult and bla bla bla.

I knew ! and what for you telling me this ?

I selected the course and I knew I couldn't escape from it.

Thank you for telling me that dont try to escape.

Well, just wanna know your opinion that

will you feel annoying and feeling want to slap the people

where the people keep asking what is your marks and what your friend's marks?

and trying to show off ! OH MY GOD !

what the hell.

DON'T YOU FEEL YOURSELF ARE ANNOYING ? !

stop complaining others before you get into yourself please !

went to a so-called student's birthday celebration. :)

and.. guess what ?

I was missing. I dont even know how to back since it was night when wanna meet with my friends after the party.

GOD. am so nervous by that time.

Days are getting harder for me.

Tension lahhh....

college stuff, tuition stuff, examination, role play, presentation and so on.

Epic.



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..::.. 2 8 3 ...::..

Sorry, Im back. :)

Was busying with assignments and college stuffs recently.

Theres a small test next thursday. :(

Erm yea, whats going on with me within a month?

Went to taiwan, and it was a great trip for me.

Was preparing to attend mass call after that and my kinda busy life started.

Received the cheque form Nuffnang.

Thanks, Nuffnang.

I met my new friends two weeks later.

And yea, all assignments came to us.

Busying prepare for presentation and so-called courseworks.

Dad bought me a laptop,

ASUS A43S series.

:)

I dyed my hair with sweet pink.

Aha, dont get shocked,

is reddish but kinda brownish.

11-6-2011

Met with them after my tuition class ended.

Carmen Heng, Carmen Lim, Catherine, Sweet Yee,Jeat Yinn, Weng Zhen and Kheng Fai.

Headed to Kay's Garden @ DPC.

Muahahahaha, Catherine came to center and I was so shocked.

② ⑧ ②

11 - 4 - 2011 

Wanna to clarify something seriously. 

Our status are different, 

the way we think, 

we love, we like and even dislike are totally Different. 

And so...

There's no point hanging out with people who don't make you feel good.

Be with people who appreciate your presence. 

Damn. These are what happen when you step into this kinda mature year, 

step into the real society. 

And ... you know what is the real meaning for EVIL.

Some people even wearing a " mask " front of you.  

I used to be alone.  

They always believed, " I create my life. " 

But I believe life happens to me. 

They play the money game to win. 

I play the money game to not lose.

They focus on opportunities but I focus on obstacles. 

They are willing to promote themselves and their value, 

I love to think negatively about selling and promotion.

They choose both, I choose either and or. 

I wish removing certain people from my life was as easy as unfollowing them.

Please worry about your character, not your reputation. 

Because your character is who you are, 

but your reputation is what people think you are.

② ⑧ ①

9 - 4 - 2011

Aha, badminton today again. 

Feeling damn different today, 

 I loved. =) 

Never rest even for a second. 

GOSH, 

feeling my skill got some improvement. 

*perasaan*  XD

Went to Green Mamak stall we usually eat.

Mee soup, mee goreng, teh O-ice limau, 

teh ice, Milo Beng. XD

These were what we called. 

Buzz-ed there for at least 2 hours.

I love to have the moment like that.

Every moment, every laughter we did. 

=)

②⑧ 0

8-4-2011

Time flies. 

Is April now. 

Gonna start my college life soon. 

Mass call on 3rd  May.

Went the Curve with the GIRLS.

Went  for the movie call The Ghost Must Be Crazy.

Glad to say that Im 18. XD

② ⑦ ⑨

EMO .... 

GET OUT FROM MY LIFE ! 

DAMN !

senseless whole day.

Its really exhausted . 

How should I control my emotion ?

YOU are who YOU ARE when no one was looking..

② ⑦ ⑧

Sorry for not updating the blog for a month. 

Everything goes smoothly so far. 

Got my SPM result, registering for the coarse that I wanted.

Waiting for the offer letter next week and so gonna to start my NEW LIFE. 

Got the payment from Nuffnang. =)

Thanks, Nuff. 

4-4-2011

Drove alone to Carmen's house, 

and guess what ?

Crushed into a MANGO tree beside carmen's house. 

At first, we thought the car doesn't go awry all the way,

because is just a slightly bang .

But then, when both of us had a look at the car, 

We were O.O , got shocked.

So unlucky.

Heading to Taiwan for another 18days more. 

=) 

New Life, New Mind . 

One more time, One more Chance. 

2 7 7 th

Yea, there's another two more days where I really never put any hope on that bloody day.

And yet, the feeling is just like what Carmen said to me, 

" feeling like butterfly is flying in the stomach . "

Oh my....

Well, today was my third teaching lesson at M&S Learning Center. 

Everything goes smoothly so far. 

And yeah, I learnt something.

Teaching is different from studying.

Teaching will let everything goes into your mind, 

I should done that before SPM. 

And tomorrow, Im gonna drive alone and fetch my friends here and there.

No raining , please. 

Damn, I did something wrong. 

I locked the main gate of the center, 

Ms.Ng called me but I failed to answer her phone.

Feeling so guilty, please phone back me, please...

Gossip again after the classes. 

We chat lot of things, bout the way you argue with your friends, any friends. 

And now I only realize, I never have a wrangle or quarrel with Wong Catherine. 

Aha...

Something made me annoying ! 

SOMEONE deleted my thousand of messages. 

DAMN ! 

Epic. 

* Facebook is where you lie to your friends. Twitter is where you're honest with complete strangers.

This is so true. 

②⑦⑥ th

First of all, 

I passed my driving test. =)

Hopefully will get it tomorrow. 

Thanks to all who wished me, appreciate a lot. 

I  ❤ today. =)

Hang out with Jia Xin, Carmen and Catherine.

That's not a waste feeling excited for it. 

Everything went well.

Thanks all. 

Went for bowling and had a movie.

" Who Know's Woman? "

Guess who is she ???
Ms. Wong Catherine. XD

I miss this.  :(

Jia Xin. 

Xin Yan.

The Balls.

Merissa was scolding Catherine .

Her uniform.

Four of us.

Glad that we were in Catherine's frame.

Cat's bed.

Lazy bumps.

Drawing.

Cat threw her BIOLOGY BOOKS into dustbin .

Thanks, MERISSA.
LOVE it . XD 

Next will be a short post entitled The Person who I admire. 

=) 

②⑦⑤ th.

My CNY .

Kay, there's no difference for this year.

Done my third driving lesson today.

Everything induced to fine.

I met Wen Ting there. =)

Failed to recognize her at first

 I thought the girl was Malay .  =X

And once I turned my head at her when she was parking her car,

she smiled at me.

O.O

Owhh, Is HER .

Gheee......

Raymond called me this afternoon,

asked me whether free this Friday .

Gotta " Lau Shang " with them. =)

Chat with Carmen yesterday.

She asked me once again,

which coarse am I taking.

And I stunt suddenly,

Feeling like not interested in studying now.

Prefer working than it.
How a? Am so confusing !  

Maybe never study quite a long time,

 and thus senseless to it. 

And yet...

How if 2 of them really heading to their NS in May at the same time ?

No one gonna lend me their's ears to listen my problems.

How many times do we forgive someone just because we don't want to lose them,

even though they don't deserve our forgiven.