..::.. Buddy ..::..

yesterday night,
keep chatting wif my sis. ,
and suddenly,
dont know why i told her about carmen~
=_=''' LOLX ~
the time i keep telling her about shes,
and i keep laughing ~
i cant describe her well actually,
because shes so FUNNY ..
haha ^^

but sometimes,
shes quite mystical~
we really cant get what was in her mind sometime~

hmm,
ooYah,
i told my sister interesting part ,
the time that she throw away cat's stationary case~
hahahaahahahah...
really funny ~

hmm~
but actually,
i have to thx her because
shes made us a lot of fun~
if nt,
i would nt feeling lyking up to school,
thx car, zi ying, jia xin and sommore ~
thx for choosing insert my life ~
^^

..::.. FINALLY ..::..

today went for IOI MALL in PUCHONG ~
i love the shopping mall ~
tat is suit for me ~
and FINALLY ,
i bought the shoes i wan ~
FINALLY ...

LUNCH ~
having lunch in THAI restaurant ~
woah ~
that is superb delicious ~

~HOME~
keep doing add maths homework ,
almost getting faint ~
the graph paper drive me insane ~
the small and tiny boxes ..
i dunno wanna hw to describe them ~
why just cant enlarge the boxes ?

O.o.,
mine right trap keep " leaping",
i wonder what unlucky things will happen on me .
haih ~

..::.. think~ed ..::..

I keep considering ~
and i choose to delete it ~
hopefully my friends nvr c it ~
i should be more open minded ,
i couldnt be so selfish , so stingy ..
sommore it was passing ~
just 4gt it ~
dont wanna done sth made me feel very in tranquil,
DID I ?
i wanna ask,
but i couldn't find someone and ask,
did mine action did true ?
i hope so ~
plz..

haih ~
FINE ... fine fine ~
just forget it ,
dont wanna think again ~
i really wanna throw away all HURTLY things ~
I NEED IT in my life ..

if you thrust on me,
then you wont need my explanation..
sommore, if you already decided wont believe me,
what im trying to say,
you also wont get in your mind~
I CHOOSE NOT TO SAY ~
NOT TO SAY A WORD IN FRONT OF U ~

im going to alter myself ~
im gonna change into another person ~
i wanna be a new XIN YAN ..
i hate the one b4 ,
i need the new life start.
A NEW LIFE ...
a new life without any sadness,
CONCENTRATE ON MY SPM ..
2010 , come faster ,
can you run to me ?
im waiting for u ~

herrr, really loosing myself ..
slacken myself ~
RELATIVELY CALM , right ?

BESIDES FROM EATING ,
SHOPPING actually can also cure urs vexed ~
can made u open-minded ...
mine way only.
i was the one who think that was effective only...

LOVE, LAUGH , LIVE ~

..::.. PHRASE ..::..

i just saw the movie ..
quite touched with the phrase ..

the celebrity said that we should feel sympathy for those poeple who wants to revenge ,

"报仇不是为了要让自己快乐，
而是受到心灵的创伤，
别人给她的受伤。。。"

and i understood that why the celebrity will said that we should feel sympathy ~

..::.. I made a DREAM ..::..

sucks...
tats was so horror ,
the dream ... oh my god..
I SHOULD SAY SORRY TO ALL OF MY FRIENDS FIRST ~
THIS WAS NOT TRUE ~
RECENTLY,
keep doing add maths homeworks..
my mind was just Tn , Sn...
my god ~
and during the midnight,
i dreamed ...
WE ALL DIDNT ACHIEVE A1 IN ADD MATHS...
=_=''
ms.ng was so disappointed at us ..
Ooyah, i remember her face,
wearing her red specs,
and her face was so black ~
she keep saying disappointed wif us,
and she didnt teach us during the class..
we all kept so quiet ...
==

..::.. 20/12 ..::..

I consent to myself ~
I MUST NOT to initiative for being SMS, dialing and even talking …
I MUST NOT to imagine anything else again !!
Because I knew that the results was always in a bad condition ~
But I did again ..
IM BULLSHIT ~
IM in a state of confusion ~
STOP MAKING ME HAVE ANY EXPECTATION ON YOU !!
Don’t try to hurt me one more time,
Because it was turning round,
IM GOING TO HURT TOU !
YOU NEVER show yours solicitude for me !
Damn !
Dropping the idea forever,
I have NO MORE illusions about the matter !

..::.. 18/12 .::..

went to TROPICANA CITY ...
erm... thats a new shopping centre,
and quite a lot of sales having there,
i take a fancy on a pair of shoes,
but tats was quite expensive and finally give up to buy it ~
SAD .
at the same time that i was trying on a shoes,
the moment i raise mine head up,
i saw MIN HUA ,
and she was starring at me ...
MIN HUA , YOU NOT RECOGNIZE ME ?
omg...
and i point to myself with the such ugly action and said IM XIN YAN..
=_='''
and she just realize it~

..::.. damn damn damn !!!! ..::..

aaa.... damn myself..
argh ~
yesterday, almost slept for about 4 hours only..
my mind was totally hyperactive,
im thinking a lot of things.
thats why i keep cant slept~

and now ! WAS TERRIBLE ..
juz because im too tired due to the tuition from 9 till 6 ..
and i decide to get a CATNAP ~
only a nap.. i thought it will within 45 minutes..
NO NO NO NO NO !!!!
started to sleep on 7.15pm ,
and just immediately direct to 10.30pm..
damn ~
and no one is calling me to wake up !!!
the most fortune things was i was ate for my dinner ~
if nt ... getting worse ..
and the problem was sucks,
how if i cant asleep again ?
aaaa,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
if the 10.30 was am, den this is better,
but it was just NIGHT ..
U CALL ME WANNA HOW TO CONTINUE SLEEP ???

mang zhang now~

..::.. PRANK ..::..

that was a prank for me..
they decided to have their KTV on this SAT. ,
but i cant make it because i was not around KL ..
yea,
that is quite sad (for me only ) ..
but what to do?

PS : im just throwing out my feeling because this is my bloggy, plz dont crack ur's
planning ..^^ )thx for cooperating !

anyway,
im going to plan some activities on this FRI. ,
go for TROPICANAL CITY ..
i wishes to ...

..::.. MOODY ..::..

what i was demand in my future life was just happier ..
WHY you always make me once and another once disappointed ?
did i be attached importance in your heart ?
i dont wanna wear a MASK in front of you !
im so tired ..
i just thought that you will let me, myself to release mine depression ~
but you arent !
im just so stupid !
i thought my life can just be simple ...
but ... that was not !
im SADDEN ~
i wanna be a person that are so own-up..
i wanna speak out what i was not deviate with it !!
i dont wanna to keep it myself and made me torture !!
i wanna be happy ...
i prefer let others people to hate on me if i choose to hate PEOPLE...
yea,
hating a person was just very tired..
why i must did so?
i wanna remove it ... REMOVE FROM MY MIND !
i dont want escape anymore !
dont want INTROVERT ...
I DONT WANT !!

give me some times to prepare for it ~

..::.. 1 U again ..::..

today went for 1U ,
bought something..
but cannot listed out..
that's what called MYSTERY ...
=_='''
today lunch at WONG KOK..

..::.. i washed ...::..

=_='''
i washed my bag and my tie too ..=_='''
plz dont complaint my tie ady...
i knw hv a big difference after washing it ...
plz dun laugh at it ~

..::.. BUSY DOING WARRANTY CARD..::..

OWCH....
im doing warranty cards..
for SOMEONE ~
argh...
i dunnno whether it was beautiful or ugly..
i juz knw myself already try my best...
I'M SORRY IF I DONE SO UGLY ~

..::.. Alone ..::..

im home alone with my elder sister and dearer two hamsters...
today was damn boring...
at first, v plan to go for 1U..
how come my relatives came and my dad and mum were out with them ~
my younger sister went for PULAU PINANG and Langkawi for her GRADUATE TOUR ~
but... haha ^^
last time, ours tour went for SINGAPORE .. more fun actually ^^
miss it ~

today boring till nothing to do!
my sisters already cease the two computers,
and the laptop ... haih..
cease from my dad..
and i was so boring,
i done some stupid things...
really stupid !
no one is actually enjoy my music ~
and therefore,
i play the guitar and on the other side i sang too !
the most interesting part was...
I DONE MY PERFORMANCE IN FRONT OF MY HAMSTERS...
im so pity !
=_=''
they were sleeping that time~
and then they started to wake up and find foods ~

at the same time they finding food...
i gt a new idea,
if they choose CORN, then i will sing MANDARIN SONG,
and if SEED, im gonna to sing ENGLISH SONG...
finally, one of the hamster choose corn and another one(gift from my fren ) did not choose ... =_='''
haih ~

..::.. waiting ..::..

last 3 weeks,
visit for HAO REN's bloggy,
he said tat he will reopen the new bloggy through blogspot...
and i everyday went and check ...
till now...
he still haven overt it ~
SAD ~
im still planning can i leave him some comments..
bcoz his post have about 10++ comments only ~
... ... ...

..::.. == ..::..

I suspect that my hamster could hear from me ...
NOP...
is can understand wat im talking...
i called BABY for my hamster ...
i knw GELI but i was influence by MS.NG ... >.<
i call it BABY,
and it started not to move,
it standing still ~
and staring at me ...
i know myself too sensitive..
but..
this was not first time ...
when the time they biting my cage and made a lot noise,
i shout at them " BABY ",
and then,
they were suddenly quite...
haha ^^
nvr c those hamster b4 can listen to human de ...
lolXXx...

..::.. 9/12 ..::..

oh my ~
i went for market this morning ...
i saw HIM again...
wearing a superb BLING, BRIGHT, LIGHT, SHINE, SHOW ... RED T-SHIRT ...
=_='''

after then,
went for tuition ...
when i stepped into the centre,
the short fringe and the non-specky me made a new images ...
Has. stare at me with the WONDER eyes~~
the first lesson,
he went in and collect the student's card..
oh my god...
he fulled me again ..
he doesnt want accept our 's card...
and he keep rubbing his eyes ...
he is really play a trick on me evidently ,
because my spec. .... Disappeared ...

during the recess time ,
damn it ...
i went for the market below the tuition centre with my friend...
SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS ...
I SAW THE SUCKER ... DAMN DAMN DAMN ...
HE IS REALLY ... DAMN ~
HE STAYED HERE ? DAMN !
GO AWAY LA ... STUPID ~
STUPID Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

after tuition,
on the way back home,
RAPID KL passed through...
and i saw a Chinese gurl sitting the first row...
maybe i was oversensitive,
but i saw her face was worried look..
and i turn my view to besides of her ..
SUCKER SUCKER ...
a BLACK PEOPLE, NEGRO was sitting besides her
SHIT SHIT SHIT !!!
there are a lot of empty place behind the bus....
cannot sit a?
stupid !!!!
i wonder is im oversensitive or ..?
I DONT KNOW !
SUCK ...
really hate THEM !!!

..::.. i cut my hair ..::..

i finally cut my LONG-LONG FRINGE ...
cant enduring with the hot whether...
and the fringe keep block my view...

i mend my back hair..
a bit shorter ....
^^

lolx..
and i finally finally finally ...
successfully put on my contact lenses into my eyes within 5 minutes ~
ahahahahahaha..
yeah ~
i finally did it ...
so happy ~

..::.. mY plan Dawdle ..::..

actually,
the coming CHRISTMAS may have party in my sister bf's house..
but...
his house may far away from here ..
so , canceling ...

I just wanna to mention that this year ..
was the last year that we all can play ... can hang out ..
because nxt year we may nt have many times...
FOR ME LA...
but maybe for u all...
nt agreed with my statements ...

and this holiday ... keep attending tuition...
i planned this activity was just ...
wanna have a fun with friends..
I THOUGHT WILL BE SO EXCITED ~
but ...
haih ...

My plan was ..
v , a gang organise a CHRITMAS 's party ..
and create a theme , RED CHRITMAS ..
everyone who attend should wear the CHRISTMAS'S "headgear" ..
haih ..

dawdle dawdle dawdle ...
i feel that no one is attaching my importance ..
fine,

and finally,
I CANCELED ..

moody ~

..::.. I have recharge myself PROBABLY ..::..

yea ... ^^
ms.ng,
i have recharge myself probably...
i have prepared myself to accept all the HOMEWORKS ..
I WILL DONE IT ! I REALLY WILL DONE IT !!!
i have to study hard started from 2010 ..
nop ... is now !
quite excited ...

hehe ^^

FIGHTING FOR SPM ...
GUD LUCK , FRENS ...
nt nxt year anymore, remains 10 months nia ~
aaaaaaaaa.....

..::.. I got my contact lenses ...::..

Finally,
i got my contact lenses today...
but i wont wear it regularly ...
will wear it for outdoor activities ...

shopping through internet ...quite fun ~
^^

..::.. HISTORY ... i wanna to ♥ EU ..::..

last Thursday ,
i was attending HISTORY class..
and i was happy because i caught what teacher had taught ...
and today...
I FEEL VERY EXCITED
with the story ...
last week is about the NASIONALISME in BURMA ...
that's all about KES KASUT ~
and today,
i learned for FILIPINA & INDONESIA ..
♥♥♥ ...
i wont hate u anymore...
but ... if u made me failed in my test...
dun forced me !!! o(>﹏<)o

nxt week going to study on THAILAND ...

Ooyah... finally knew the story about KONSERTO TERAKHIR ...
its quite nice ~
i feel this is better than BUKIT KEPONG ...
>.<'''

..::..❤ ❤ ..::..

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

不喜欢怀疑什么 O__O"…

并不是表示我没有感受 ╮(╯_╰)╭

看你微妙的变化慢慢不同%>_<%

我不是生气只是心痛╮(╯▽╰)╭



最讨厌被误会了o(︶︿︶)o

但越解释越觉得难过╮(╯_╰)╭

你可以说人会变 但不能说 ~~~~(>_<)~~~~

你会这么做是我的错 (╯﹏╰)



哭过就好了 伤都会好的 /(ㄒoㄒ)/~~

这样相信所以深呼吸着割命 (⊙o⊙)

爱是为了拥抱 ♡ 为了牵手 ♡

不是为了争吵 ♡ 为了调头 ♡



哭过就好了 痛都会走的 /(ㄒoㄒ)/~~

记忆有限 所以它会淘汰坏的 (╯﹏╰）

失眠听歌 想念虽然苦涩 O__O"…

还是谢谢你让我长大了 (⊙_⊙)



越多美好堆叠的过往 (⊙o⊙)…

想忘就得推倒更大的悲伤 (～ o ～)Y

要找勇气却不在口袋或手上 ( ⊙ o ⊙ )

但它一定在我身上某个地方 X﹏X


❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤


* * * * * * *
* * * * *
<======== *== *==<<<<<<
* * *
* * * *
* *



　

..::.. Sleeping ..::..

I totally didnt have the idea ...
Im suffering during the night ... totally have a sleepless night ...
is it INSOMNIA ?
last two days ,
damn it !
cant fall asleep .. keep counting the sheep ,
and keep imagine the picture of the sheep ...
BUT .... count till 200++ ...
i lost my patience ,
i change my way to count it ...
i imagine the numbering ...
but so unlucky ,
less than 10 ,
change again ...
BACK TO THE SHEEP ...
haih ...
i wonder that i have slept during the hours ?
i was settled the time for air-conditioning for about 3 hours ...
and thus,
i was so shocked that the air-conditioning was off ...
OH MY GOD !!!!
i forced myself to sleep ...
but how ?
and i started to feel nervous ...
i was thinking a lot of things during the 3 hours ...
MAYBE I WAS SLEPT .... AFTER THE 3 HOURS ... MAYBE ...
haiz...
what happen to me ?
Before that,
I LOVE TO SLEEP ,
because sleeping can cure my vexed ...
HAPPIER if living in the dream ... LOLX ...
but how come nowadays ....
not liking to sleep ~
YESTERDAY ,
i was accompany my mum to wait for my dad because my dad will came back during midnight ...
that's great ...
my dad reached home about 1.15am ...
and then , i went for my bed...
and this time...
i set for about 1 hour only ...
i forced myself to have a sleep during this hour ..
the nxt day may suffering from the 6 - hours tuition ...
that's why i need the sleep ...
FORTUNATELY ... i did it !

i hope ZHOU GONG will come and find me tonight earlier ... plz >.<'''

..::.. Feeling Compunction ~ ..::..

argh... im dumb !
really dont know when was the chance passed by ..
that's y people will said
if u didnt missed it, then u wont know that was your chance ...
haih ~
LING XIN YAN !
ACCEPT THE FATE !!!!
RESIGN YOUR DESTINY !!
LING XIN YAN !!!
please be sober up !
WAKE UP !
DONT BUILD CASTLES IN THE AIR !
WASTE YOUR TIME !
this is the way you choose ,
u choose not to reply him ...
and this is your consequence ...
feeling compunction is YOUR judgment ...
face it ~
or otherwise let it passed ...
always be your MEMORY ~